The swell (how life works from the perspective of a surfer’s daughter)

The Swell

Again and again I tread the same water passing it over my body and going nowhere, suspended between what is and what is to be.

Then change comes as a wave out of the abyss consuming everything.

Shifting your entire bodily universe and there is nothing anyone can do to prepare for it, it will come when it comes, as it comes.

Time has shown me many things and I look forward to the unsure future being nothing as I ever thought it would be.

When the tides change and the swell comes marching in you have the choice to stay where you are, duck dive and avoid the wave and let its power pass over you and come up much where you started.

Or you can catch the wave and allow it to take you where it’s headed, over reef and sand maybe to the shore and maybe not.

All that is guaranteed is a change; a new place to tread water and wait.

Some people spend their whole lives treading water and ducking waves; saying that was not the “right” wave.

Somewhere in the course of their tread they imagined the wave that would take them gracefully ashore.

A back-lit barrel that would sweep them up safely and take them away.

The problem is that at the point of catching the wave we have no idea where or how it will break, the act of moving with it and being carried by it changes everything.

It is not something that can be anticipated or planned out.

The right wave can only be found if you listen closely to that water suspending your body let it tell you where to go and when.

Truly listen to the cues the ocean gives you for it encompasses your existence and will not tell you the secret to its force or flow because it doesn’t know.

The moon so far above also waits, bidding its time pulling more, then less.

Waxing and waning, dancing with the sea.

These are the places to find truth and consistency, in change.

With so many unknown things to come there is no point in prediction or expectation.

Only through honest evaluation of our strengths and weaknesses can anyone ever judge what wave to ride.

Also needed, is the awareness that we could be wrong AND that it’s ok- can we find the courage to let go.

Nothing is for sure when we let go of the place we are and accept that the swell may not take us to where we want to be, but that it will certainly take us where we should go.

So much hope and fear, doubt and anticipation make it hard to judge each wave.

What is paramount to remember is that most of the time it’s not the wave you want to catch that moves you.

It is the undeniable tsunami that takes you far from where you are and where you thought you would be- to where you are supposed to be.

And introduces you to the person you where meant to become.

This wave doesn’t give you warning or time to react and once in its grip you quickly realize that this is not the perfect safe vehicle you had expected.

That in this tempest the only thing you can do is to stay alive; afloat and hope that it is not the last ride you will take.

When it passes you will not recognize yourself or where you are and again you will begin to tread, to wait, to deal with it.

This is life’s only guarantee.

Expect nothing and you will always be able to catch the waves and survive the tsunamis.

Life is ever-changing fluid and therein lies the hope for contentment.

Be happy with the moon in whatever phase it lies in, grateful for the water that supports you and ever-mindful that death lies just below the surface.

Stay afloat witness the incredible power that surrounds you, to do this is to live.

To accept this; is to love life.

Not as you wish it were- but as it is.