On our drive home, the boys and I started talking about a character the Little One invented during the week we were snowed in, the Underwear Wizard. Things got out of hand (as all good stories do) and the next thing I knew; we were typing and illustrating a tale called The Amazing Adventure Of The Underwear Wizard and His Crazy Monkey Scientist Buddy.
They each illustrated their own copy; the youngest on the left and oldest on the right.
Here goes nothing…
Not so long ago, in a laundry room not so far away there lived a magical being not many people have never seen the- Underwear Wizard. He lives in a castle on top of Mt. Laundry.
He is a funny being full of laughter and joy. His love of underwear of all types is unmatched. He derives his magical powers from the underwear he has on his body at any time. He always has layers and layers to spare.
He shares the laundry corner with a mad pigmee-monkey scientist.
After being trapped by the Sock goblin he succeeded in escaping his prison but was left with a few issues. The potion he used to escape the evil villain had some unexpected side effects.
It made him small enough to fit through the bars of the cell but it permanently shrunk his ability to act normally or care what anyone thinks about him.
The Underwear Wizard and his unstable buddy have to live with an evil being of epic proportions. The always feared and ridiculously smelly… (dun dun dunnnnnn)
Under his control he has an army of inexplicably violent lint balls that he recruited from behind the dryer.
The dastardly fiend takes dirty socks that escape the washing machine and adds them to his ever-growing stinky power.
He started out as a baby sock and overtime has grown to the size of a large cat but WAY more smelly than even the dirtiest cat box.
The Underwear Wizard was getting more and more concerned. He had to do something, soon.
Even the giant Laundry Gods; bringers and washers of dirty cloths from Above, started to notice something was funny in the basement.
It wouldn’t be long before the Sock Goblin would make his move, his lint army was getting restless. He was training them to form a lint bridge in order to ascend the stairs and try to take over Above.
The Monkey Scientist had an idea. Since nothing in the basement could defeat the Sock Goblin he realized that their only hope was to go Above before the Goblin and his lint army and stop them on the stairs when they would be the weakest.
They decided the best way to accomplish their mission was to use the magical properties of the Wizard’s boxers. Any picture on the underwear being worn by the wizard could come to life and assist him in his goals.
The crazy monkey had the brilliant (but totally odd) idea to use underwear with pictures of birds on them to fly them to the top of the stairs. The wizard was hesitant and asked what they would do then?
Crazy monkey boy told him he could use his plaid undies to cast a magical plaid net and trap all the lint and the Sock Goblin at once, when they tried to squeeze through the door to Above.
The Underwear Wizard had been battling the Sock Goblin for years and was worried that the plan maybe a little too silly. The monkey boy, on the other hand seemed convinced that this was the way to go.
This was not reassuring since he was equally convinced that turtles could fly given the right potion.
The only thing to do was try. The Wizard unleashed the birds and with a little practice they both made it to the top of the stairs and the threshold to Above.
They had to set up quick because no soon than they landed they heard the shuffling of many linty feet and they could smell the Sock Goblin grow closer.
The plan worked better than they could have wished.
The plaid net covered the whole army. Then the wizard used his construction boxers to activate a D-10 Dozer that carried the smelly linty mass back down the stairs.
“What do we do now?!” Asked the wizard.
“I know! We should have a marshmallow party in the jean pile!”
“NO! You goof, what should we do about the trapped evil laundry monsters”
The monkey was quite for a second, then snapped his monkey fingers.
“I’ve got it, the goblin gets his power from things that come out of the dryer, so… if we put him back in the dryer and THEN the washing machine it should undo him.”
“It’s worth a shot” shrugged the wizard. It worked like a charm and all was well again in the land of laundry.
Or is it?