I am not a person who needs attention. I actually enjoy anonymity.
I don’t like to toot my own horn or say “I am the best!” But I feel like I have achieved something and am proud to have done so.
I also don’t like putting myself out there- especially on the web but I want to preserve the rethinks that have been my driving points. Cronicalling the ups and downs in my life- for my children.
So here I am writing this post against all odds (you can ask my friends) on the web.
I don’t think it is a bad thing to know your limitations. I believe in pushing yourself to your boundaries so you can improve and make those limits strengths- to know you can overcome anything life throws your way.
I look at my life and my life is a garden. I sow seeds, nurture the results of such said seeds, harvest the bounty of the fruits, marry the fruits to nourish us through the rest of the year.
I am not one to say, “I am going to do something”- and not do it.
This last year I convinced myself I could grow enough food to make it a through the next year at least. That is enough sauce to go along with our eggs and chickens as well as any protein we have to buy. (Next year’s goal grow all our proteins by the way 🙂 )
I am now sitting on enough sauce to get us through the winter.
Even though we still still have more to harvest.
We have started planting our late season crops like garlic.
It is always interesting to see how and why plants respond to different things it is something that has fascinated me for my entire life. I can remember as a young boy in Casville, New York.
At age 4 going to the neighbor farmer with a jar of pennies I had saved and asking if I could buy a chicken. The farmer looked at me and with astonishment that such a young soul could be wanting responsibility at such a young age.
He beamed at me with a smile then promptly asking me which one I wanted.
I picked out the biggest one in the barn. He sort of chuckled- so I thought i made a good choice. Only to find out the next morning we would not get any eggs.
I then learned my first choice of pet would be returned at the end of the summer due to the fact he was a rooster. At least I got the summer with him.
At this point in my life I was surrounded by acres and acres of corn fields and at a young age realized how amazing it felt to be in such a place. With life ever-changing and maturing around you.
For the first time in a long time I got that same feeling of childhood looking at the garden I spent so much time on. I nurtured, shook things off when the rain was too much. Fertilized when need be, WEEDED and the list goes on- all in the hope I would be where I am now.
As I look around I saw with some surprise that I have found myself right where I started.
Trying to learn all I could to push myself to the next stage. I realized time sort of has control and you can only push SO HARD. Just like the garden, things take time and you can only nuture and watch for the signs that things have changed.
I am a very cerebral person. I believe the weakest point in your body- is your body.
Your brain can push you through so many things if you just believe have patience and look for the signs that time has unraveled new and great beginnings.
I only learned this through trial and error. Mostly error but it is not the mistakes you make in life that hurts you, it is the ones you don’t learn from.
I have found myself at another crossroad and aware of something new about this same old place- that It is not about the paths you pick, it is the way you walk and who you choose to walk with that matters.