My sister is the most incredible, amazing, inspirational, kick-ass person you will ever meet.
Yes, I am bias but I assure you- the statement is true none the less. Allow me to justify my position.
I have written about the ‘Little One’ a few times before. She has made a life for herself outside of our family unit that is awe inspiring.
She is someone to be looked up too. Though it would take her getting on a stool for me to do so 🙂
We shared a unique childhood but she has distinguished herself from me and surpassed my wildest dreams in every way possible. She is not motivated by a need to prove herself to me or anyone else. I do not cast a shadow large enough to encompass her’s, nor would I want to.
We are separate from each other, singular and different. Just like the roots of a dandelion and its feathery seeds are a part of the same life yet wholly opposite in their experience of existence. One rooting deep into the dark, moist soil and the other set free to wander on the breeze and see all of creation below. A universe encased in a winged seed.
Her drive and motivation have taken her all around the world.
I’m am not being obtuse or exaggerating. She is currently on her third trip to Asia. Notice I do not say “vacation,” and am not any more specific than “Asia.” This is because my sister’s preferred method of travel involves oneway plane tickets, indeterminate amounts of time/countries and little to no itinerary to speak of.
In her travels she has been to: Thailand, Cambodia, Lao, China, Tibet, Mongolia, Vietnam, Singapore, Taiwan not to mention all over Europe and the USA. Many of these places she has been more than once. I am quite sure I am missing some and I’m not counting layovers.
She is alone, traveling the remote and not so remote countries of the East. Did I mention that she is by herself?! And that I’m dealing with it just fine, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!
The big sister in me HATES this process but the better sister in me knows that it is her soul’s calling to be as she is and approach her life the way she does. I also know that the greatest way I can show my love is to support her and not to saddle her with my anxiety, fear or daily mandates to ‘check in.’
I have to trust that she is ok. That our bond is not broken even when she is on the exact other side of the world.
There are many things about our now separate lives that I know we are experiencing and thinking “only my sister would understand how awesome/horrible/epic/unreal this is.” We might remember to share them when we talk and maybe not. The point is, that even when we are apart, we are together.
When she first moved away for college we decided to get the other’s initials branded (via medical cautery pen) on the the back of our necks. We made up these symbols starting with ETG and SCG and over years of doodling both marks became creations that no longer resembled their origins.
The final result is a sum of its parts, a unique and individual sign. We wanted scars, not tattoos. The method of our body modification carried deep meaning. She is not a foreign object forced under my skin, she is an evolved part of me.
An external expression of the mark she made on my soul, when she was born and I was lucky enough to get her for a sister.
A constant reminder of her love and our connection.
Our sisterhood has hand many incarnations and I can only pray, in our current isolation from each other, that there will be time for a few more.
All I can do is wait and bare witness to the force that is my sister. I can put pins in maps of countries I will never see. Pray daily for her safety as she explores the world in original ways, finding the path (most likely a narrow one, on the side of a cliff, over looking some abyss or other) that will take her to “her shot.”
That mythical frame all photographers seek and only the brilliant capture.
I have never had a single doubt that she will find it. I have a greater feeling that she will find many. Then she will elevate that image with her writing, transcending the etherial.
She will gift these treasures to the world and everyone will see what has been viscerally true to me all my life. That my sister is the most amazing person who ever lived!
You don’t have to take my word for it, check out her travel blog. Wish her luck and as our dad would say, “be good with your bad self.”
I love you Sara. BE SAFE!!!
Beautiful way to describe your sister and how you feel about her. What an adventurous life she leads, very enviable. I would love to have done half of what she has done, but perhaps it all lies ahead of me!
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May it be so!
My husband admonished me a little, saying “just because you haven’t traveled doesn’t mean your not cool.” I guess even when you don’t mean too there is always an implied comparison. I am perfectly at peace with her being the family probe, I don’t travel well and she has always been well suited for the process. I have never wanted anything other than a simple small existence, like the one I thought I would have back home before I choose to move. She has always longed to go to far away lands to get lost in- and she has.
I hope for you as many travels as you wish and the time to enjoy it, until then we can both live vicariously through the Little One. She really is someone to be in awe of.
Be well and safe future travels! xxx
Wow Em. I don’t really feel I even come close to owning that title, but I know what you mean. I feel just as in awe of you and the life you’ve created. I know people constantly recognize what an amazing individual you are, but I’m always shaking my head thinking “you don’t know the half of it.” The things people usually reference about you – your strength, your introspection, your talent, your energy, your humor – are only scratching the surface. Your love is one of the most impressive things about you and you share it fearlessly. I’ve been blessed to be in your life for this long, and even luckier still to get to be your sister.
I think of you often. I even showed my brand to a man with old ritualistic scars at Thaipusam who jokingly insisted I get pierced. We compared scars and laughed. He gave me a thumbs up. I looked around at the intense rites of passage around me and thought of the devotion and faith they showed by offering up their bodies to a higher power. I touched my brand and realized I had done the same, in some small way. Our bond is something beyond myself, something transcendent, that I can only hope to come close to understanding some day. You are an important part of my karass, and I’m fortunate I didn’t have to look far to find you.
I love you. I miss you. I’ll stay safe.
(yes, I know … safer!)
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