Wicked Rural Homestead
Live Simply
This isn’t a post. it is a cry for help.
Just in case I am found dead in our house, tied up with yarn and covered with small puncture wounds and scratches- you will know what happened.
Luna did it.
I am beginning to suspect that our cat, Luna blames me for winter. This could become a problem. At first I thought she was just mildly annoyed with the whole outside turning the only color she can’t blend into. As she is an all black cat she is accustom to being a ninja, Navy seal-ghost protocol kind of cat. Able to come and go as she pleases. Unnoticed by everyone but her victims and only then when it is too late. The rest of the year she rarely comes inside. When she does I think it is only to make sure we are still putting food out for her, not that she needs that kind of bipedal charity.
She is a hunter, one of the best I have ever seen and that is saying something. By the end of summer she has killed most of the small vermin on the property and has moved on to just blatantly screwing with the chipmunks. She will catch them (a pretty respectable feat in itself as she is only 9 lbs) but then she will lay down with them in the middle of the lawn and let them go. Like some sort of psychopath playing the deadliest game-chipmunk edition.
“Go my little furry friend,*strokes whiskers* I’ll give you a head start. Try to take it back to your hole” (insert maniacal kitty laughter)
Almost always this doesn’t end well for the cute little squeakers and she trots off to add it to her thunder-dome of death. I would imagine it’s located in some underground hollow, displaying all her trophies. In my mind she has a lounge chair and a smoking jacket there too. I admit the smoking jacket may be a bit far fetched the rest of it is completely reasonable.
At any rate-I fear she has started to think that winter is my fault and I am not sure I can convince her otherwise. At this point I am only hoping she takes it out on Isis first. Isis LOVES winter because she is a husky. She just can not fathom why no one else wants to go outside with and play with her.
Luna is normally really quiet but recently she has started meowing at the sliding glass door, looking me dead in the eyes and meowing again. When I go to let her out she sniffs the air and refuses, turns tail and runs back into my room and on to our bed. As if to say “make it better out there or I will just take this for myself and you can sleep in a basket on the counter”
If I am to be absolutely realistic I think she will take out Pele and Isis before she gets around to the humans but I also think she could possibly just go for the gold- start from the top and work her way down. It is really hard to tell with her.
All I know is that I am very glad she has no thumbs, she can already open doors with what she’s got now.
I just wanted to put it out there, in case something suspicious happens, look for the cat first and…
WATCH OUT BEHIND YOU!
Wicked Rural Homestead 
Haha- hilarious! Hang in there!
LikeLike
Thanks I will do my best, good thing I’m a light sleeper. Be well!
LikeLike
Well I wish Luna and Luna could meet …. we could share weather and maybe Kitty would be less inclined to yarn ya up!
LikeLike
I think she might be a able to read, she has been super sweet since I posted that. Or she is just lulling me into a false sense of security…
After Isis I think Luna may be burnt out on white dogs 🙂
LikeLike
Pingback: Your Free Range Days Are Over! | Wicked Rural Homestead
Pingback: Where is Dr. Doolittle When You Need Him?! | Wicked Rural Homestead
Pingback: Spiders, and Chairs, and Luna Oh My! | Wicked Rural Homestead
Pingback: A Familiar Loss | Wicked Rural Homestead
Pingback: “Where Are My Feet!?!” | Wicked Rural Homestead
Pingback: Candy Boards And Frost Bite. Ah, January In Maine. | Wicked Rural Homestead
Pingback: I Lied. The Digging-Out Is The Hardest Part. | Wicked Rural Homestead
Pingback: No Candy, No Cards, No Diamonds; No Problem. | Wicked Rural Homestead
Pingback: Life’s A Trip, Enjoy The Fall. | Wicked Rural Homestead
Pingback: Eastward Ho! Part V. New Beginnings At The End Of The Road – Wicked Rural Homestead